Dear Mom Site: Please Stop Supporting Mom-on-Mom Hating


Mean girls are meaner behind a computer screen.I’m going to do something that I don’t usually do (mainly because it’s not my style): I’m going to call out a mom site … by name.

(gasp) has bugged me for a while. It’s a very popular site that I joined about a year ago and then really did nothing on … mainly because the times that I scanned through it  there seemed to be a lot of moms complaining and putting other women down on the forums. I’m so not into that.

And then I read something in an online article that made me like the site even less–the site was started by two men (Andrew Shue and Michael Sanchez) because it was seen as a lucrative venture.


I have no problem with people trying to make money, but I do find it odd that men would create a site for women. How do men know what is best for us? How can they create a bonding, supportive community for women when they don’t understand exactly what women need as a bonding and supportive environment? (I mean, they’re men.)

The answer is: they can’t. Check it out:

I never unsubscribed from their newsletter (because I suck at unsubscribing to stuff). Tonight, a subject line came across that made me open their email. (Great job, CafeMom!) The subject line?

“Dear Fat Chicks, Please Wear Clothes That Actually Fit”

Inside the email (which was their daily site overview) was that headline and a picture of an overweight woman trying to button her jeans.

And I cringed. And then? I seethed.

Why is this an OK post to write–on a forum, on a blog, on … anywhere? Explain to me how, no matter your opinion, this is a productive statement for anyone? Does it help obese women? Does it help the author?  And, why would a female site want to support this kind of bashing?

I call these “hit and run mean girl bashings” because authors get to spit out some vile BS while they hide comfortably behind their computer screens. If the author really feels that way then is she brave enough to stop obese women in “too small clothing” on the street and confront them? I doubt it. Mean girls are always so much meaner behind a computer screen, aren’t they?

So, you can support unproductive sites like this if you want–or sites who have people create controversial topics like this for more traffic and money–but I prefer to spend my time with groups of women who are about lifting up and not tearing down … no matter their weight or what they wear.


Image: Dundee

4 Responses

  • Christin // // Reply

    Great post…get ’em girl!

  • Crystal // // Reply

    WTF? I’d love to write THEM a letter…

    I just don’t have time for that kind of crap. I do enough making MYSELF feel bad without help from outside sources. Good for you for calling this behavior out.

  • Rebeca @ The Average Parent // // Reply

    I stopped following that site a while ago for the very same reason. But recently I’ve been thinking the same thing about many social media platforms.

  • Marg // // Reply

    Yes! Well said, Jackie!

    I had followed that site for a while because a writer I respected blogged there (Pundit Mom, aka Joanne Bamberger, who didnt fit their general profile for bloggers). The commentary and often the content itself, was generally incindiary. So much hate/anger and broad brushing of people–I had to stop reading.

    Knowing that women aren’t at the helm somehow doesn’t surprise me. I had a similar experience when I wrote a few pieces for Mamapedia–and I learned that it was also owned/operated by a man.

    Makes a thinking woman take pause, I tell you.

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