Apparently We Aren’t Home Owners’ Association People


At least we're not Cadillac Ranch.

Our last house was on the water and, like many waterfront locations, it wasn’t in a neighborhood. This meant that you had million dollar homes intermingled with not-so-million-dollar-homes. People pretty much did what they wanted.

Where we live now is in a neighborhood … with a home owners’ association. It’s not our first neighborhood, nor our first home owners’ association. However, I had forgotten how (sigh) annoying they can be. We had lived here approximately one month before we got a slap-on-the-hand letter telling us that our trash can (tucked inconspicuously away on the side of the house) wasn’t inconspicuous enough and had to be moved in. Thankfully the kid had her own room and now we just store the trash cans in there. It does suck getting them downstairs each week, though. Whatever.

In general, I appreciate the idea of homeowners’ associations. I mean, I don’t want to live next door to a house with cars on cinder blocks in the front yard or an old couch on the back porch. So, I get the need for them because some people really do think that neon pink with green trim are the perfect colors for the outside of their house. I don’t want to live next door to those people either.

Apparently, we are those people — the people that some other people in this neighborhood don’t want to live next door to either. It’s confusing because we aren’t loud, we barely speak to anyone, and our dogs aren’t incessant barkers. However, this past week, we received another slap-on-the-hand letter from “the association” for…

[wait for it]


Not on the street.

Not on the grass.

Not on the sidewalk.

Not in the park’s parking lot.

Not in the yard on cinderblocks.

We are in violation because we are parking our two (used but nice) SUVs in our very own driveway.

And here I was worried about how to get the dogs to stop pooping on the back deck. Wait until they find out about that.

7 Responses

  • Betsy // // Reply

    Wow! That’s crazy! Good luck!

  • Jackie // // Reply

    What the…. that is insane! I do not get it at all.

    Good luck.

  • Erica // // Reply

    I’m sorry, come again? Did you buy the house you live in? this is why I refuse to live in a neighborhood with a home owners association. Good luck!

  • Liz // // Reply

    lol …

  • Christin // // Reply

    Really? Are you required to park your cars inside your garage at all times? I have always lived in a neighborhood with a HOA and I don’t recall having that requirement. I know that where we live now having people park in their driveway, but across the sidewalk is a big problem. That is a problem because then little kids cannot stay on the sidewalk to ride their bikes and walk. Usually they only complain about cars in the driveway if they are not running and looking decrepit! LOL

    Good luck…sounds like you have a HOA member that is bored!

  • Robb J // // Reply

    Wait till you get fined $1200 for having vertical siding on your mini-barn (that was built in 2001, along with the house). Even though the mini-barn is completely out of plain site to any common street.
    Or being fined $50 for having a red porch light during Christmas (it HAS TO BE WHITE!!!!).

  • Julie // // Reply

    Wait what?! What are you supposed to do about visitors? If I come to visit (you know when no one ends up in the hospital)… is my car going to miraculously vanish into some homeowners association thin air?!

    …and here I was thinking about doing the no-notice-everyone-is-healthy-and-I-want-a-roadtrip visit.

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